Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Junkie Love - courtesy of Sid Vicious and Nancy Spungen

Yep, today is a good day to share some dialogue on the joy of matrimony courtesy of that great modern romance film - SID AND NANCY.

I shall do my best to transcribe my favourite bit of dialogue where Nancy calls her mum back in the States to tell her that she just got married and would like some money (so her and Sid can get high) and her mom, who no doubt is on to her junkie daughter's ways offers Nancy instead something far more practical.....

Cut to scene, it is night and our lovely couple is squeezed into one of those classic Brit call boxes.....

Mommmmm? Guess what? We got and Sid - SID VICIOUS!!! Remember Mom, from the SEX PISTOLS (in background Sid yells out HELLO MUM!) What? Oh, you'll love him too...hehehe...yeah....soo so Mom anyway why don't you send us a wedding present? Nooooo, we don't need any sheets.....why don't you send us some money? It's early there right? so you can go to American Express (the desperation grows in Nancy's voice) right now before it closes and you can send us the two hundred dollars and Sid could pick up here tomorrow (London) like first thing when they open and ( mother's doubt muffled over the line) - what???? I am soooo married!!!!!! (Nancy yelling) I AMMMMM!!!! WHADDAYA MEAN????? HE LOVES ME MORE THAN YOU DO!!!!!! YES I AMMMMMMMM!!!!!! NOOOOOOOO, SHUDDUP!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!!!!! IF YOU DON'T SEND US THE MONEY RIGHT NOW WE'RE BOTH GONNA FUCKING DIE!!!!!! YOU'D LIKE THAT WOULDN'T YOU????!!!! FUCK YOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!! DIE!!!!!! I FUCKING HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER (more garbled obscenities as she smashes the glass of the call box)......

Nancy yells at Sid.....SHE SAYS WE'D SPEND IT ALL ON DRUGS!!!!!! now here comes the punchline......

Sid - well we would!!

Nancy was to die from stab wounds most likely inflicted by a very stoned-out Vicious who OD'd before he could be proven guilty.

Ain't love grand?

Sid's swan song - a classic to this day if only to prove that everyone has the potential to be exploited.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Lover's Day

At least this is what I believe the 14th of February should be called. Or perhaps guilt-trip day? Or maybe oh shit I forgot the anniversary so I will go out get some chocolates and flowers day? Nah, Lover's Day is far better and need not involve something so cliched as flowers and chocolates but that being said the receipt of such, on the part of us ladies, is not to be snorted at unless one can tell that the chocolates are of the $2.99 last minute dollar store variety and that the flowers are mostly carnations.

Carnations are okay to receive on "regular" occasions like when one just wants to say, hey, so nice to see you you sexy beast, let's fuck. The direct approach, minus the false window dressing, usually impresses the more intelligent of the female species but woebetide any man who is a cheap bastard on special days. All women, unless they are total doormats or retards, can see through lame gestures so quickly.

Now guys, not that all of you are lame for it is quite true that a sincere gesture can carry far more significance and I do believe that many of you try to be sincere - but please, best to leave the cheap shit in the cheap bins if you are that last minute. Men would be surprised (maybe even shocked) to know that a simple, well-thought gesture (one that does not have to be purchased necessarily) is always appreciated and if it is not? Hmmmm......that scenario is for another day.

Confusing is it not? And while we are at it, I am quite sure that in the gay realm the same rules apply and that certain gestures would be ruthlessly mocked for many years.

Am I a cynic or unromantic? Hell, no. So let us see how this day progresses for no matter what I know a certain person will do his best to ensure that I know where his heart is and that is priceless indeed and is celebrated every day and not just once a year. I love my friends who have been so good to me during these trying times where my feelings concerning romance were teetering on the brink.

On postscript.....five hours later......

**** came by with a choice bottle of bubbly for me to put away for the "write" moment and a lovely Shiraz for us to enjoy as we chatted and reveled in each other's company. He is smart as three times he walked past the Belgian chocolates, almost caving to the cliche, but he knew I would have laughed if he had shown up with a heart-shaped box, no matter how much they cost. I already have his heart. Oh yes, I would have loved chocolate but like I said before, I also love surprises and to have received flowers and chocolates on today of all days would not have surprised me at all but to have his company and tender attentions? He can get me chocolate and flowers in a day or two....hahahahah.

I ain't no high-maintenance princess....muahahaha.
Precioso.....muy perfecto! Mi amore mi amigos y amigas siempre!!!!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Oh the wonderful shit I find online....

Me so glad me went for post-secondary ejjimacation.....helps me to find important things online....hahahaha

I figure I can get away with posting the above image now that more than 24 hours have passed since the Saints won the Stupor Bowl!

The image was borrowed from my favourite bitchy gossip site -

Monday, February 8, 2010

Mexican Monday and other musings....

Sherpa Boy you are an astute man and bless your heart because you remember those silly little things that I bitch about, like why the hell there was no cilantro to be had in this city of the damned last week? How the hell is anyone supposed to rise to Mexican Cuisine greatness without goddamned cilantro for chrissakes. Reminds me of the fall flooding in Belize of 2008 when cilantro had to be imported and no one, and I mean no one was gonna pay 12 dollars a friggin' pound!!! So, we had to reconfigure many of our dishes and that was hard because much of the cuisine of Latino culture features cilantro! Oh well....adaptation, I have found, is key to damned near any endeavour.

Well this goes to prove the one theory right that if the one you really, really like (dare I say love?) does not mind how addled you are in the morning, how disheveled your appearance may be or that, heaven forbid, the weekend dishes are still festering away? Yep, be kind to this one for he brings not only cilantro but laughter, words of wisdom, warm hugs and is not full of shit. To me, the latter sentiment, as I get older, is pretty high on my priority list for a significant.

What a great way to kick start a Monday? Good compnay and yes, the dishes are in the machine and I have done the exploratory into the freezer of despair, yanking out stuff that I had been saving for enchilada day - things like the butts of pork roasts, shredded cheeses and some banana loaf that can be had for dessert later. I love making enchiladas and I do them with a smoked poblano cream sauce and a rich tomato/cilantro creamy (not too creamy) sauce. The meat will be thawed, shredded and infused with roasted cumin that I get at my favourite Caribbean/Indian shop, Dino's.

I will add to this in awhile....

yeah...we ate - we conquered...damn that is.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

4TH QUARTER - too damned tight

This is a tight match, tighter than what the armchair quarterbacks were predicting....ha! They were calling for a colts domination of the game over the much for that. Stay tuned kids.

hahahahah......take my eyes away for a couple of minutes and the Saints are ahead 24-17....never tell a team they have no chance.

hehehe - fourth and goal and the Colts screwed up.....Saints are way ahead now. 31-17 with less than forty seconds to go. Oh this is sweet. Done deal baby!!! Out comes THE GATORADE!!!!!!!!


More StuporBowl musings and advice

Okay today is the day to eat meat, get hammered, eat cheesies and nachos, watch commercials and if you are not too hammered or bored - get into what could be a good game? Personally, I am hoping for one of those Broncos moments where the underdog, the Saints, come through and emerge triumphant. Most of my friends are Saints fans if not for that reason then at least because they hail from the South and a good southerner is loyal to their geography. this shit is vile but I discovered that it can be a decent mix. Just don't get too pissed and mix it up with Senor Limpio or whatever the fuck he is called in Mexico....gotta say this though for Mexico as they do have the most cool cleaning products like FABULOSO....??? I digress as is normal for me.

Speaking of Mexico, and this is an appropos segue if there ever was, this is a country that is famous for its booze and snacks. I love Mexico but please realize this America - NACHOS are not Mexican food. So be proud America because you still rule in terms of craptacularly crappy but satisfying snackies!!!

Anyway - Gatorade. I never liked it until one day hiking in Oaxaca with the Great Orlandini (archeologist extraordinaire and serious drinker and "herbologist"). We did about twenty klics the one day and when we got back to Mitla we were in need of some serious drinks. Being too tired to go out Orlandini brings out two selections from his room, one of rotgut Mexican gin and the other a jug of Urine de Burro, otherwise known as donkey piss Mescal....a very youthful drink and not recommended to any amateurs out there. He asks me if i have any mix and I reached into my bag and brought out four bottles of Gatorade.

After quickly downing the first two we felt that we had made a great discovery - hell, this shit ain't too way to get rid of shite booze and as drinking is a sport that requires training, dedication and stamina then I say to the good folks at Gatorade, keep those fruity flavours coming!!

I Really want to....

....say that all is well, and that I have gobs of energy and the sun is shining and the champagne is chilling and well, that is not the case but as things have it, not too terrible either. I have two kinds of ribs going in the oven. The ribs that I bought yesterday from that wonderful Polish Meat Market are slowly cooking now. One set was done with a homemade sauce of ketchup, worcestshire, molasses, salt, fresh ground pepper, tarragon vinegar, japanese shoyu, curry blend and some original Missus Dash ( man dat bitch know spices!). Whisked together and rubbed onto par cooked ribs and covered in the 250 degree oven - I can already smell them.

The other set of ribs is a dry rub. Yes, the ribs were also par cooked. I used a smoked salt, some jerk seasoning and some blackened seasoning....these too are covered and will cook slowly.

This will be served later with veg and the leftover coconut rice with cashews I made the other day.

Good hearty food on a snowy, miserable day. My son and his roommate will need this kind of food for they will venture out late for one of their poker tourneys. No, these tourneys are not for money but more for fun and learning. Heaven forbid anyone gets a swollen head and decides that they are destined for poker greatness.

The housemate comes downstairs to get some coffee and we get into this conversation about gambling, booze and herbs and when it is cool to offset one's nervousness with an infusion of the aformentioned "helpers". Well we all know alcohol lowers one's inhibitions and in gambling that can either go for you or against you and as to some weed, perhaps that makes one too mellow to get down and dirty?

I started to talk of my Vegas trips (lots of fun) and casino adventures in foreign lands and if it is one thing I have observed is that generally-speaking women prefer the slots. I have a few theories about this. Firstly, women as a rule (I am the exception as are others I know and whose works I enjoy) are not risk-takers. Real gambling, not slots, involves cunning, risk, machismo and is not about a "thrill". Yes, it is thrilling if one scoops up the pot or gets that rare flush hand but otherwise table gambling as in poker, old school, is all about perception and dominance.

Women like slots. It's as if they can be a risk-taker, get their thrills and feel triumphant but in a solitary way. And if they lose there is no audience to mock them or admonish them. That comes later if they become slot addicts and start spending money that is not theirs to spend. Alcohol definitely plays a role in this behaviour as it really loosens inhibitions in women (once again not all women) and that cavalier devil-may-care attitude takes over.

To me these women are trapped in lives that have become or already have been for years, mundane. They are too scared and too ensconced in their routines to go off on a trip alone or with friends to let loose. Or, conversely, they are trapped in a loveless marriage and are stuck in the main role of caregiver, not allowed to or are allowing themselves to have some fun. Hence, gambling in the local pub (there are these horrible VLT's everywhere it seems) during lunch or after work or on the way home from shopping, fills that void in their lives.

I have observed these individuals for many years and to be fair it is not just women who are addicted to slots but many seniors and yes, men of a certain age. You can see the unhappiness etched on their faces and a certain resignation. Resigned to what I do not know for you can rarely engage a slot jockey in a friendly conversation such is their dedication to that machine they are playing on.

I don't know. I have enjoyed gambling from time to time, have my peccadillos and superstitions about it but I do it for fun and rarely alone. I think when something ceases to give pleasure that perhaps it is time to do an assessment of sorts? Yes, I know - that sentence could be attributed to damn near anything in life when one really thinks about it and is that too idealistic or selfish?

Something to ponder on a dreary, painful and cold Sunday.....damn but those ribs will be good served with mashed garlic spuds and yah!!! (notice how I changed my mind as to the sides?)

Now in keeping with the importance that today carries? GO SAINTS!!!!!! Thanks to the lovely "Saintsations"....pictured at top. This team is the underdog but I have fond Superbowl memories of another underdog team, the Broncos, kicking some ass and - in the spirit of gambling and risky endeavours - making me some cool coin.

So, life can be good after all.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Reminiscing about fabulous times?

Saturday morning, coffee, a few phone calls and scrolling through the digital cable listings to see if there is anything remotely cool on that will amuse me as I write. Ah, Basquiat is about to start. (a sample of his at right)

Oh oh, speaking of cool and amusing my buddy Spam just arrived and we are going to the S&M Meat market (that is what we call it anyway) to get our pork on.....will return with some smart words later about the NYC and Winnipeg (f)art scenes of the early 80's........or we may just talk about pork.


Okay, that does it. I worship at the altar of the pig. Michael Symon move over because I live in a hood dominated by eastern European meat markets and I ain't talking church bingo halls! (where they make the best perogies on order but if you show up and you have not ordered then you incur the disdain of little old babas who will curse you to your grave for being so inconsiderate)

The M&S meat market is all about the pig. All pig all the time. As I type this Spam is giving off pork farts....she is sated. Saturdays are the day to go but do not dawdle as the treats vanish. Croquettes made with an egg pastry, burger patties and one of the best ever pepper salami I have ever had, fresh out of the smoker just a couple of hours ago. Moist, not too smoky and smoothly textured.

I was gonna talk about art but talking about pork is almost the same thing.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Friday Food Frenzy

Yesterday was for introspection, bringing ideas together and musing out loud about my conditions and states of mind. Today though is about FOOD, LOVE and LUST. For early February I sure am feeling's that warmer air mass and I suppose having Sherpa Boy drop by to share some laughs and musings does not hurt either. I gotta do some more research on smell and taste and lust....yeah, that would be fun to wrap the noggin' around this weekend. Hmmm....we shall see. For now however, good company was nice to have as business does have to be respected even by lusty pirate chicks.

My life is not all rum, sodomy and the lash!!!
BTW,I post this picture of Shane MacGowan, if anything, to show some of you that life cannot possibly be all that bad given that Shane is still alive, has new teeth and is still being creative!!

But back to food and lust.....certain itches cannot be scratched right now so when the going gets tough the tough get into the kitchen (la cocina) and have mondo, rocking good times!!

I like curries. Curries are lusty, hearty and make the whole house smell great unless that is one goes overboard with fats like ghee or oil - then your joint smells more like a Calcutta whorehouse between shifts - one is not encouraged to linger but rather to satisfy whatever urge and get on with the next bit of business. Not very appetizing and certainly not inviting or seductive. Yes, smell is everything and I pity those poor souls who are not in tune with that sense for if one really learns to use smell they will come to know almost instinctively when to NOT add salt or other enhancers.

I live to eat and NOT the other way around. Having lived and worked in many crazy, cool places I have come to appreciate simple, hearty, flavorful and sustaining fare. I rank curries right up there as they can, like French or Italian cuisine, be fancy-schmancy or down and dirty - what makes good food stand out is the deceptiveness of what "simple" entails. There is nothing simple about rustic and flavorful. Time needs to be set aside for good food and I believe if more folks did just that, slowed down a wee bit and became more involved with what they were putting into their bodies there would not be this FAT epidemic.

Food should never be a replacement for anything. Food, good food, is another one of those concepts that if thoroughly appreciated, like a good lover, will give one great pleasure on so many levels but please folks - learn to not use food as a substitute for what is missing in your life - pleasure, appreciation, self-esteem - many more things I suppose but those are pretty damned important. Pleasure is something NOT to be denied. It is not selfish to seek it out if one is happy to give back as much if not slightly more to another of that wonderful feeling. Ah, to be sated - it can encompass many things.

Back to the curry though before I derail that train of thought again? I do so enjoy meandering and free-flowing.....

GOAT MEAT.....did you know that goat meat has less fat and more protein than any other domesticated critter? Yep. Most North Americans wrongly assume that chicken is the most consumed meat on this planet....nope, it is the goat. I know goat is not to everyone's taste but as the old saying goes "Don't knock it until you have tried it". It is tasty stuff if handled correctly.

Now I know most folks when they think of curry think of those standard blends that are found in any supermarket. Boring, boring, boring! I like to keep on hand a variety of dried ingredients good for making scratch curry as well as some of the more adventurous blends one finds in an ethnic market. Experiment. Have fun. Use your nose!

Staples that I keep for my mise en place that can always be found on my kitchen island ready to use are shallots, ginger, red onions and garlic. In the fridge I always have fresh cilantro, limes and lemons. Butter and a decent variety of oils (not canola oil - ewwwwww) round out the list. One more thing I keep in my larder to use is coconut milk, unsweetened of course. Nuts, rices (basmati, Thai and wild rice) preferrably brown and organic should always be on hand. Anything else one can add as they get more adept at this cuisine like say specialty flours for making Indian style crepes which I will make later.

I buy cubed stewing goat meat which can now be found in the big box supermarkets. I like it for its convenience as I do not have to fart around creating my own perfectly cut chunks. Chicken or lamb works well too but goat has this richness to it and the fat on it is not as cloying as the fat found on mutton.

Treating the Meat......

Too many folks do not understand the fine art of braising and cooking spices. Slow cookers, although great inventions, are not used to their full potential in the sense that unless the meats, veg and spices are pre-treated one's food is not going to taste as good. I take a large skillet, get it up to medium high heat, toss in some sunflower oil, chopped garlic, shallots and ginger and get those working. Then I quickly add the curry melange - either a homemade one or one that I find in the markets, stir everything quickly as I do not want to burn my ingredients and then toss in the goat cubes, stirring, stirring and stirring. I turn down the heat a wee bit and the aroma is heavenly. I leave this cooking (braising) for about a half-hour.

In the meantime I have my oven preheated to 300 and I have greased up one of my favourite dutch ovens because there is no sense using the slow cooker today. After I toss in the meat and spice mixture I add some water to the skillet to deglaze it and add to the pot, cover it up and leave it be. In about a half-hour I will be adding other coconut milk and veg - today being carrots.

I decide to have some fun with my brown basmati rice. I heat up a smaller skillet, toss in some oil and butter and some cashews. As that is going I am treating my rice in hot oil, tumeric, cinnamon sticks and some chopped tomatoes. To the cashews I add some other witch's brew of curries, stir that around quickly and add that to the rice. In goes the coconut milk, sugar and water, heat lowered and covered. As this is brown rice I do have to check it periodically to add more water. Salt to taste is added from time to time.

God dayam but does this castle smell great! The crew of twenty-somethings have walked in and are salivating madly but this will not be served for awhile yet.

Three Hours Later.....

Okay, this rocks. Yes, I will have to make the chickpea flour pancakes later but I had to try this out and yes it is perfect. On a spiciness scale of one to ten this one is about a seven. Any spicier and the desired effect of palate rejuvenation is destroyed. I used to like food dares based on spiciness but as I matured I realized that there are better dares out there like Jagermeister.....hahahaha.

Am I satisfied? For now. We shall see how the weekend progresses and who just happens to drop by for some pleasurable pursuits. Yes, sourdough projects are next on the list.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Mental Exercises and small Confessions

Now before any of you reading this think that what I am about to discuss is reflective of living this first year post-45 anos, nah, you be off somewhat. Notice I said "somewhat"? I'll expand further eventually, maybe???

I have this routine that for the last few years I have been working on. It is a memory thing, an exercise designed to get my brain working before I even get out from under the blankets. I think of a related series of words before I pass out and when I am stirring the next day, still in that delightful state of relaxation and warmth I try to recall those words and why I thought of them in the first place.

It may sound trivial but for those of us who are not only getting older (yes, mental acuity does start to shift in one's forties) but who have neurological issues to deal with it is an exercise of affirmation. An affirmation that the old cerebral cortex is still functioning up to speed even if there are a few glitches that occur, some more often than not.

I have MS, multiple sclerosis, and though I may not suffer from it to the degree that others do, it still can be cause for a host of worries. I am learning not to attribute constantly for example every nervous tic or peccadillo to that condition but rather to examine the "big picture" of myself and the getting older thing. It is an interesting exercise and journey and one that I, for the most part, am enjoying except for when I bang into doorways and have nice folks ask me if I am having abuse problems at home when they see the bruising on my body. I also tend to fall down rather spectacularly except for when I have drinky poos.....which leads those who do not know the real story to believe that I am drinking which is really ironic given that having a few drinks makes me walk straighter?

I am weird. Live with it. I do.

The first time I knew there was something amiss in my physical being was around twenty or so years ago. I was in the supermarket and it was thankfully before lunch time when there would have been more people around to witness my "event". I was lucky in that I seemed to be the only shopper on my aisle and no staff were in sight. I was reaching up to the top shelf to get, I cannot recall what item, something out of my normal reach and I am not short so that was not the issue. It was after having grabbed the item that I felt nothing below my waist and in not feeling anything, no little strain, no readjusting of my feet or posture, that my arse hit the floor, surprising me.

I sat there or rather stayed on the floor in a prone position until I felt my lower body again and worked up the gumption to get back up. I cannot remember the duration of my stay on that floor but just like silence on the radio it may as well have been an eternity. Not too long after that my eyesight started to change as in disappear from the one eye - dead centre. Other things started to happen but not in steady increments. Not knowing (or worrying) about these changes - there are those who give me shit for not being aware immediately and there are those who say that I saved myself a lot of aggravation and stress, two things an MS sufferer does not need in their life.

I try to see the silver lining in as many ways as possible. More on that in awhile because I am tired and need to rest. If I am not in pain I am usually tired and have learned to go with the flow. The words are not going anywhere and they will appear later, hopefully filling in some gaps of thought and leading on to some amusing stuff. Better to be amusing than tragic right?

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

My Friends Find Weird Shit....

Wow....I was wondering how long it would take me to get inspired to start writing about food here. I write a great deal about food on other sites but I mean writing about it for the sheer helluva it - as thinking about the ick factors and the kinky factors....sometimes the two do go hand in hand? Oh my god....the hand in hand remark - that is so bad but you will not know why it is bad until the title of this piece (linked to ahh, the subject matter in question) is explored. Just click it.

More to come? Hahahahahahahhahahaha!!!!!

The Hurt Locker - DG Style

Welcome to the world of intermittent pain that sucks one's will to live? Well, maybe not that bad yet but we shall see how day two shapes up.